Saturday, October 2, 2010
My Dearest Maximus,
Starting a year ago today, you have been in my thoughts and dreams every single day.
A year ago today, I didn’t know if I would even be able to bear a child.
A year ago today, I didn’t know for sure if you would ever exist.
A year ago today, I had no idea what was in store for me during the next year. I had no idea you’d be here so soon. I had no idea how much joy I would feel when I read that first positive pregnancy test. I had no idea how magical it would be to hear your heart beat for the very first time. I had no idea how incredible it would be to see your tiny body through an ultrasound. I had no idea if you were a boy or a girl, and I had no idea at how delighted I would be either way.
A year ago today, I had no idea how my body would change. I had no idea how little I would care that it would change. I had no idea what it would feel like to have a baby growing inside of me. I had no idea how happy it would make me to be kicked in the ribs.
A year ago today, I had no idea how it would feel to see my child in real life for the first time ever. I had no idea how beautiful it would be to hold that child in my arms. I had no idea how much love I could feel for someone I’d just met. I had no idea how precious it was to have such a tiny, little hand wrap itself around my finger. I had no idea that I could fall in love with hairy ears. I had no idea I could fall for another sweet boy with baby blue eyes.
A year ago today, I had no idea how thrilling it would be to see a baby roll. I had no idea how much it would melt my heart to see that baby smile. I had no idea that such timid, tiny cries could shatter my heart. I had no idea how delectable it would be to hear the incomprehensible chatter of such a tiny person.
A year ago today, I had no idea how much you would mean to me. I had no idea how much I would love you. I had no idea how deeply that love would grow with each passing day.
A year ago today, your Daddy and I decided we wanted you here with us. It’s a decision I know I will never look back upon with regret.
My Dearest Maximus, I love you with all my heart. And I always will.
Love,
Mommy
Saturday, October 2, 2010
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1 comment:
Just absolutely beautiful. I love the images that came to mind with each sentence. The love that was expressed in your words. I can tell that you realize how blessed you are to be a mom and have your sweet little guy. Though it's completely hard and impossible to imagine, somehow it really does just get better from here on out! Every day, your heart grows bigger and expands in a way you never thought possible. I keep experiencing it and am just as surprised each and every day.
Enjoy every minute of it. . . but from this post, it definitely sounds like you are :)
Thanks for the post!
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